old age

It has been days since my last post, not tat i got ntg to write but i got no internet service till yesterday when i came bek from KL. yet, i m still too tired and i need to help my parents to calculate some figures, some simple maths but not tat simple though, it is somethg to deal with building plan, kinda complicated to me, coz it is using measurement unit like foot and inches, which is not familiar to me at all.

past few days, as i mentioned, i was busy looking after my grandpa in PCMC (pantai cheras medical center), his last and only lung was infected, causing asthma and tragedy almost happened. another part of his lung was cut off due to smoking too much. some advice to my frens who r somking now, quit b4 u regret... i m not really tat busy actually, in fact, it should be described as boring, coz we r looking at each other, watching tv and talk NO NONSENSE all the time haha. old man wad, or m i a boring person? well, i m not complaining anythg, some1 told me it is our pleasure to be able to take care of our elders who love us a lot, and i did take care of him w/o any blame. but i m so regret to say tat taking care of elders is just very boring!! haha. it had happened twice in 2 yrs time, and it is just nice 1 yr since i last take care of him while he was admitted. it was better last time coz there were still cousins at my age who r taking care together, at least we still hav some common topics rite? well, everythg is over now...

however, my grandpa dun seems tobe as strong as b4, he cant even climb a few stairs, hand shivering even while eating, facing difficulties even while bathing/ going to toilet, wat he can do now is to stay at 1st floor, doing ntg, talking nothing and just looking at the 4 walls, coz if he is coming down, he will need 4 man to carry him up! where can he find 4 person to carry him up everyday? every1 got their own life to live, their own thing to do. a better word to describe his life now is "suffering". tis makes me think a bit far, will i live like him after 60 yrs? if i do, will i just thought of ending my life? since i will just create trouble for my kids or even my grandchildren. i dun think i m thinking too much, but it might be a cruel fact tat we hav to face in future... i tot of a solution in a sudden which i feel kinda impractical, but i would still like to share it, who noes mayb it works? tat's to stay in a big house which possess 5 star hotel facilities with all my dear frens, at least there r still mates to tok to rite? life will be much interesting by then. but how many children will let their parents stay there? at least i wont! on the other hand, will our stubbornness as children cause our parent's life to be miserable if they really hav nothing to do???? conflict~~~