WHEN!

WHEN will i graduate?
WHEN will i get a job?
WHEN will the stupid guilty feeling get lost?
probably WHEN i achieve the 2 things above?
but WHEN is the date?

i hate my life to hav so many uncertainties, i like to control my life, everythg shd go along with my plan but my plan seems not working at all. everythg started to deviate since my 1st failure in my life! and tis is WHEN mr "guiltiness" starts to build up its castle deep in my heart. i got tis feeling WHENever i spend money even on food, WHEN i do somethg i like and sometime even WHEN i m having deep thoughts b4 i sleep. i wish i could live like those ppl who takes failure easy, but just like one of my fren said, scorpio tends to think a lot himself/herself, i cant control myself not to think so much. ntg can stop me from thinking, the brain is mine and i think tis shd be the source of my white hairs. every1 is growing old everyday at different pace, some is growing slow, since they got ntg to think, ntg to worry and vice versa. obviously, ppl like me will grow old extremely fast, few yrs later, latest by 30, half of my hairs should hav dropped ( as predicted by my uncle who say himself good at "people viewing" ) and another half will be in grey colour. oh, disgusting!! dare not imagine tat...

so, i think the oni way to keep my hair "alive" is to keep myself as busy as possible, since i will hav no time to think bout nonsense, brilliant? my ideal working time would be 9-9, then it will form a perfect sleep-work-wleep-work routine. tis is actually a real life case happened on some1 i know, he oways complain tat tis routine is way too boring. but dont u think tis is the actual life every1 is facing? consider of changing job? does it really help? everyjob is almost the same! and jobs r hard to get recently, dunno is it my prob or every1 is facing such prob. i got no idea since i just start to step into tis society.

well, writing blog is also a way to relief one self ( taught by a close fren ) besides crying as shown in dramas. at least after i expressed myself, i oways feel better. i m just trying means and ways to hav myself a good sleep, hope this will help~ good nite to me~